Smirks ‘n Smiles, Grins ‘n Guffaws

1)    Q. What did the cowboy say to the pencil? A. Draw, partner!

2)    Q. What building has the most stories?   A. A library!

3)    Q. What has a coat all winter and pants in the summer?  A. A dog!

4)    Q. What always falls without getting hurt?  A. Rain!

5)    Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?  A. Because it felt crummy!

6)    Q. What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable?  A. Leeks!

7)    Q. What state do pencils come from?  A. Pencil-vania!

8)    Q. How did the hot dog wear its hair?  A. In a bun!

9)    Q. Where can you find the biggest spider?  A. On the World Wide Web!

10) Q. What did one plate say to the other plate?  A. Lunch is on me!

11) Q. Who is the best fencer in the ocean?  A. The swordfish!

12) Q. What did one knife say to the other knife? A. You’re looking sharp!

13) Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?  A. A towel!

14) Q. Why did the cake like to play baseball? A. ‘Cause it was a good batter!

15) Q. What bird is the best weightlifter?  A. A crane!

16) Q. What animals can you find on legal documents?  A. Seals!

17) Q. What did the bee say to the flower?  A. Hello, honey!

18) Q. What’s the biggest ant in the world?  A. An elephant!

19) Q. Why was the broom late for work?  A. It overswept!

20) Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because it held up a pair of pants!

21) Q. What runs but can’t walk?  A. A faucet!

22) Q. What’s the easiest way to count a herd of cattle? A. Use a cowculator!

23) Q. Why did the donut go to the dentist? A. It needed a chocolate filling!

24) Q. Why couldn’t the dessert reach the table? A. It was a shortcake.

25) Q. Why did the football coach go to the bank? A. To get his quarter back!

26) Q. Why is a river rich?  A. Because it has two banks!

27) Q. What travels around the earth without using a drop of fuel?  A. The moon!

28) Q. How do you tell how often a tree has been married? A. Count its rings!

29) Q. What do you call two banana peels? A. A pair of slippers!

30) Q. What did the grape do when it got squashed?  A. It let out a little whine!

31) Q. Why wouldn’t the oyster give his pearl away? A. Because he was shellfish!

32) Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? A. Because she ran

        away from the ball!

33) Q. Why did the reporter run to the ice cream shop?  A. He was looking for

  a scoop!

34) Q. What do you get if you cross vegetables with a necklace?  A. A food chain!

One thought on “Smirks ‘n Smiles, Grins ‘n Guffaws

  1. Ohhhhh Sister Sue, I just love all your “funnies,” You have quite a reputation for making people happy, even though they may be carrying a heavy burden. You are “Something Else'” My Sister Sue. I will always be following you as U update Your new website. Congratulations on your latest Adventure.
    My Love,
    Corlyss

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